Things You Need To Know When Having Sex The First Time

The first time you have sex with someone — or sex at all — is a deeply individual experience. “Sex” means different things and comes with different emotions from person to person (and from hookup to hookup, TBH). That said, there are a handful of insights that can make your first time having vaginal sex comfier, more communicative, and more pleasurable, which are pretty universally great things for sex to be. Here are nine first-time pointers, with advice from sex therapist Vanessa Marin.
1. Being safe can actually relax you.
Nothing is more distracting than worrying about STIs and pregnancy during sex. Even if it feels awkward, it is so, so, so important to chat with your partner beforehand about what you’ll do to protect yourselves. Use a condom even if you’re on another form of birth control to protect you both from STIs unless you are both monogamous with each other and STI-free (check out local clinics like Planned Parenthood for free/affordable testing).
2. Enthusiastic consent is a prerequisite for everything you do.
“Make sure you enthusiastically consent to each and every thing the two of you do together,” Marin says. “‘Enthusiastic’ is a key part of that sentence. Don’t just go along with something; make sure you’re excited about it.” Remember that just because you start an activity — for example, intercourse — you don’t have to finish or continue it: You have the right to pause or stop whatever it is. No. Matter. What. Same goes for your partner, of course: Check in with each other as things progress to make sure you’re both enthusiastic about what you’re doing.
3. Remember to breathe.
A big part of enjoying sex is focusing on the sensations you’re feeling instead of, for example, your nervousness (which is totally common to feel your first time, even if you know you’re ready to have sex). “Deep breathing is a fantastic way to let go of distracting thoughts,” Marin points out. As you’re taking those deep breaths, focus on how different parts of your body are feeling and how your partner’s body feels against yours — not just the obvious part (penis in vagina) but their fingers in your hair, hands on your hips, whatever it is.
4. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Did I mention foreplay?
The more aroused you are, the better sex is likely to feel, so don’t neglect foreplay — including oral sex, manual sex, and, yes, good, old-fashioned kissing. “You’re more likely to orgasm from oral sex or fingering,” Marin says, “so resist the temptation to think of these activities as the things you do before moving on to the ‘main event.’” Whether or not you do orgasm the first time you have sex, clitoral stimulation is the key to most women’s pleasure, and vaginal intercourse doesn’t usually provide very much of it.
5. Caring about your partner’s pleasure matters more than your technique.
It’s natural to worry that you won’t be “good” in bed your first time, but trust: what matters most is that you are invested in how your partner feels and vice versa, and that you two are communicating about it. “A lot of people get anxious about sexual performance, but perhaps the best quality in a lover is enthusiasm,” Marin says. “If you’re genuinely enjoying pleasuring him, he’ll notice it, and he’ll have a lot more fun too.” Simple questions like, “How does that feel?” and, “Do you like it when I [fill in the blank]?” give your partner a chance to express appreciation for what you’re doing or (gently) ask for something a little different. (As well as prompt them to ask you the same questions!)
6. Feedback is not the same as criticism, so don’t hesitate to give it.
A common concern is that if you tell your partner something doesn’t feel good — or something else would feel better — they’ll feel attacked. But if they care about your pleasure, they’ll be happy to hear how to help you feel it. In the moment, it can be hard to figure out what exactly you want, so it can be helpful to talk after the fact about what you enjoyed, what you could do without, and what you’d like to try next time. And if you don’t have an orgasm, don’t feel pressure to pretend to have one. Think of orgasming not as your responsibility but as a fun goal to work toward with your partner(s), together.
7. Lube is your friend.
Using lube sometimes gets a bad rap as a sign that you’re not turned on enough, but even if you and your body are saying “OK, let’s do this!” a little lube can make sex so much more pleasurable. Another benefit of using a water- or silicone-based lube with a condom (avoid oil-based lube, which can degrade latex) is that less friction means the condom is less likely to tear.
8. Your partner’s penis might not do everything the two of you want.
Whether premature ejaculation, a limp penis, or inability to orgasm strike, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with your partner or you failed them somehow. Comfort with a new partner often takes time and communication, and that goes for both men and women.
9. Temper your expectations.
Teen movies and TV shows sold us a pretty unrealistic vision of what having sex for the first time looks like. It’s always perfectly choreographed and mood-lit and romantic, and ends in an implied simultaneous orgasm. As if. Don’t expect fireworks the first time you have sex — sex is messy and human and flawed and often awkward whether it’s your first time or your thousandth. It’s the practice and the exploration that make sex fun.

Reason why it is so risky to suck a man dick

The chances of HIV being passed on during fellatio are low, but it can sometimes happen.

On the other hand, several sexually transmitted diseases, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, genital warts (HPV) and hepatitis B can be passed on when either your penis is sucked or you suck someone else’s penis.

Even without the exchange of body fluids, many sexually transmitted diseases can be passed on during close or intimate contact. You could use a condom during oral sex to reduce this risk, but you can’t completely eliminate the risk

Scientists characterise the risk of HIV transmission through fellatio as far lower than the risk from anal or vaginal sex. But the risk is not as low as zero.

Sucking the penis of a man who has HIV, with ejaculation in the mouth, is an activity that may occasionally involve HIV transmission.

 (Other forms of oral sex, including cunnilingus, are extremely low risk for HIV.) When sucking a penis, the risk of HIV transmission rises if there are bleeding gums, oral ulcers, genital sores or other sexually transmitted diseases.

It’s important to have regular check-ups for sexually transmitted diseases, especially if you’ve had several sexual partners since you were last tested. If you’re feeling anxious about a recent sexual encounter that may have exposed you to HIV, the best way to deal with the issue is by taking an HIV test.

things that you must keep when having s3x immediatel

 “You should definitely stay away from things that might distract you while having s3x, little things may become big turn offs for both you and your partner”. Here are the things you should keep away before having s3x:

Watches: “This little thing can cause a major turn off, you might end up hurting each other or even prick and it may destroy the mood”.

Your hair: “Women, this one goes for you, tie your hair before you get into action, especially during foreplay, which you definitely don’t want to ruin”.

Fragile items on your side table: “While you’re having an amazing time on bed you don’t want a lamp or something to fall off from the side table and break and crush the whole mood”.

Any object on your bed: “Remove everything from the bed, one prick and you might have to start everything all over again”.

Belts that are practically jig-saw puzzles: “Remove your belt right before you start, the idea of removing clothes while in action might seem a very sexy but keep the belts away”.

Loud phones: “Either keep your phone on silent mode or simply switch them off, you don’t want a sudden and loud ringing in the middle of orgasms”.


7 S*x Positions That Are More Fun Than Doggy Style

Ladies and gents love doing it doggy style. And though the name leaves a lot to be desired (seriously, who came up with that?), this position offers up lots of benefits so you get the most bang for your, um, bang.

For starters, this is the perfect angle for some G-spot stimulation with easy access for bonus clitoral stimulation. Plus, it’s a super-hot view for both of you (if you face a mirror), and you can pretty much do it anywhere.
Even with all those sexy perks, sometimes you still want to change things up. So try these other positions that are still in the doggy family.

How to do it: Have him sit on the edge of a bed or a chair and lower yourself onto his shaft facing away from him.
Why it’s hot: “This position is great for female control,” says sexologist Megan Stubbs, Ed.D. You can use your feet as leverage on the floor to move at the angle and speed that you want. Plus, his hands are free to stimulate your clit or your breasts.


How to do it: Bend at the waist as he stands behind you and enters you from the rear.
Why it’s hot: This version screams “gotta have you now,” heat-of-the-moment passion, and the angle offers even deeper penetration, says Stubbs. Plus, this is a great one for the shower.

How to do it: Place your hands on the floor and have him pull your waist so your legs are on either side of his hips.
Why it’s hot: Turn things upside down for a new sensation and view for him. He’s fully supported on the bed, so he can control the movement and help keep you balanced. He’s also hands-free to experiment with a little anal play, if you’re into that.

Ways on how to get a bigger butts during excerise

1. Change your walk. Stand and sit straight with your shoulders square and your head raised. Keep your abs contracted and your pelvis in a neutral position. This will not only make your butt more prominent, but it’ll also slim your torso a bit and make your chest look bigger.

2. Butt Bridges. Lie on your back with your knees bent and your arms at your sides. Lift your butt toward the ceiling, then lower it. Do 3 sets of 10 repetitions.


3. Squats. Stand erect with your feet about shoulder width apart and your arms extended in front of you. Bend your knees to a ninety degree angle with your back straight, then rise back up

4. Lunges. Stand erect with your feet about shoulder width apart. Bend one leg behind you and the other leg in front of you.

5. Do kick backs. Stand on one leg. With the leg that is free off the ground, kick it back until you see your butt squeeze into a bubble

6. L eg lifts. Leg lifts (or raises) might sound like they’re focused on your legs, but really they’ll help work your abs.

7. Twist crunches. Lie on your back on the floor and bend your knees. Put your hands behind your head, keeping your elbows bent. Lift one shoulder off the ground, and twist to the opposite direction. For instance, if you lift your left shoulder up, twist your body toward the right. Repeat, alternating shoulders. Do 2 to 3 sets of 10 to 15 reps. Rest for between 30 to 60 seconds between each sets.


8.) Try sports that build your leg and buttocks muscles. A hobby you enjoy could also simultaneously enhance your rear. Here are some possibilities:

l Soccer Field
Hockey Cheer

leading Pick the right pants. The right pair of jeans can seemingly transform your butt, making it appear round and perky. Consider the following next time you buy a pair of jeans:

Pick the right fit for your body type. If you have a slim waist, try a pant that will hug your waist, such as skinny jeans or a tight-fitting boot-cut. If your waist is smaller than your hips, wear low-rise jeans (that hit at the widest part of your hips) with a fitted shirt.

If you have a thicker waistline, try wearing high-waisted jeans. The top of the pants should fit around the slimmest part of your waist, making it look small and your butt appear bigger.


Look at pocket placement. Small, high back pockets will make your butt appear larger. Additionally, pockets with embellishments such as sequins, stitching, or colored thread can add more interest and “direct traffic” (or draw the eye) to your rear. Avoid jeans with big pockets or no pockets at all.

Avoid dark wash jeans, which will make your legs and rear look smaller (especially if you’re wearing a light-colored top). Instead, try white, pastel, or light blue jeans.

Wear high heels. Heels change the natural curve of your spine, causing both your butt and your boobs to protrude more.

Avoid wearing heels for longer than two or three hours at a time. This will reduce the strain on your body. For an extra-lifted rear end, ditch the kitten heels and go for stilettos.

If you’re unsure that this works, get in front of a mirror and stand up on your tiptoes (it will help). Take a few steps, and you’ll notice how the movements of your legs and rear are a little more exaggerated. Your legs should also look more toned, and your butt should appear to be an inch or two higher.

5 ways to know that your boyfriend want to break up with you


Do you suspect that your boyfriend wants to break up with you? Maybe you don’t want to seem paranoid, but you also don’t want to get caught off guard when he suddenly walks away. Smart thinking!

Once you know the signs that he wants to break up with you, you can decide if your relationship is in jeopardy or if you’re just feeling insecure.

Men tend to conceal their feelings more than women, so it’s hard to tell when your boyfriend wants to break up with you. It often seems sudden and unexpected when a boyfriend or husband walks away, but he likely thought about it for a while. He may not have felt comfortable starting a conversation about his feelings, or the relationship issues. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt you, or he feels bad that he’s losing interest in you.

If you don’t want to experience a shocking split with your guy, you must know the signs that he wants to break up with you. You’ll have to get the idea of breaking up out of his head and into the open. That’s the only way to face the problem, and hopefully win him back.


1. He’s not himself. If your boyfriend wants to break up with you, he might start to seem uptight or uncomfortable all the time. His usual characteristics morph into something you don’t recognize. Maybe he’s on edge, more quiet and withdrawn, less playful and jovial. Was he the type of guy who loved to tell you everything, but now he’s short with you? Does he get annoyed when you ask questions?
This sign is even more critical if his personality warms up when he talks to other people. There’s nothing good in the works when your guy is dispirited and standoffish around you, but warm and excited once his phone rings.

2. Less texts and calls. Did he go from checking on you every few hours, to barely texting or calling you at all? Unless he’s had a change in work schedule or something else you know about, this can be one of the signs he wants to break up with you.
When a man is really into you, you remain on his mind and that fuels him to text and call. He may contact you a little less as he gets comfortable in the relationship, but be wary if the texts and calls taper off too much. This can mean a man is losing interest in you and he wants to leave you.


3. He’s working longer hours. An ambitious man might work long hours, but he’ll make time for the woman who holds his heart. As his emotions and interests move on, so will his time.
Since men use work as a getaway when they’re unhappy at home, watch out for big changes in his work schedule. He might work longer and longer hours to stay away from you, or to spend time with someone who caught his interest at work. In some cases, a guy will even pretend to work longer hours.
Unless you confirm that he’s forced to work so much, consider this a big sign that your boyfriend wants to break up with you.

4. He doesn’t bring you around his friends anymore. Watch out if your guy went from taking you everywhere with him, to leaving you behind when he’s hanging out with family and friends. It’s totally normal for men to want “guy time,” but something is awry when the pattern shifts. Consider it a sign if he originally had poker night with the guys twice a month, but now he’s hanging out late (without you) every weekend. This might mean he is creating distance between you, as part of moving on from what you once had.

5. He values everything over sex. Guys love sports, food, beer, and hanging with their buddies, but we all know that sex tops everything for men. If he keeps turning down sex with you because he’s too tired, too busy, or more interested in sports, your boyfriend wants to break up with you. When a man loses interest in you sexually, he’s on the verge of walking away. This red flag is too bright to ignore. It’s sucks to have a man lose interest in you, and nobody wants to lose the person they love. But nothing good comes from ignoring the signs that your boyfriend wants to break up with you. Ignoring it won’t change his mind, so be proactive. Find ways to save your relationship or move on with your life.

Ways you can be in love with two people at once

To some, this question may seem absurd. But the reality is the number of women currently dealing with a situation where they, as the saying goes, “Want to have their cake and eat it too” happens more frequently than one would think. So what exactly does a situation like this look like, and what do you do?
Let’s paint a picture: a woman (or man, but we will just use a woman in this example), is single and free, probably after being stuck in a relationship for years that was less than satisfying. She now has a guy who has been in her life for some time, perhaps a good friend who has become more over the years, but there are complications that make the situation difficult. The other gentleman either has been around for a while too, or is more of a newcomer. Both men are extremely into this woman, and she longs for both in different ways, but just cannot decide which direction she should go as she enjoys the attention she gets from both.
The dilemma is that she has two really great guys on her hands. What sheer luck, as most women struggle to find one! One guy always has a specific set of characteristics that she absolutely adores, the other guy generally has an additional set of characteristics still admirable, but bringing out a totally different side of her – one that she finds thrilling. It’s always the case where one guy is the comfort blanket, while the other is something new and exciting.
The problem arises when the woman has to make a decision on which guy she will be exclusive with, because the fun of juggling both can only last for so long. Another obvious problem is that someone’s heart will get broken, and the fear of making the wrong decision is always at the forefront of the brain. However, breaking down the decision is really quite simple. Before a woman can even decide which guy she wants, she must first figure out what she is looking for at that point in her life. Perhaps she is seeking marriage and lifelong commitment, but the newer guy is single and just looking to have fun right now. He may not be worth investing time and energy into at this point. Or, she decides she is finished having children and does not want to play step-mom but the other guy has young children that he has joint custody of – this may not be the path she wants to take if she is looking to move in together in the future.
After she figures out which stage she is at in her life and what she’s actually seeking, it will be easy to assess the next thing: how does each guy make her feel? A man can have a great list of ideal traits on paper, but if one man makes you feel a lot more beautiful, wanted, and loved than the next, why settle?
As a Dating and Relationship coach, I have seen a lot of things: I do not believe you can be in love with two people at the same time. I feel you may love two people at the same time, but with one individual you will be in love, the other you may just love and want the best for them, more of a friends-only type of relationship. In the majority of cases, one will be love, and the other lust.
Always choose love. It’s not only stronger, but has greater chances for longevity – since that is what most of us are seeking.

Reason why your relationship will not work without sex number 2 will shock you

We all know that intimacy is an important part of a healthy relationship. For many, sex is a crucial component of intimacy. We tend to feel uninhibited, free and unabashed when we have sex, allowing for our barriers to be dropped. Through this freedom, the possibility to connect through intimacy is prevalent and real. It feels as if sex and intimacy go hand in hand.  So, what happens when sex takes a backseat in a relationship.  Can it survive


happy young couple have fun in modern kitchen indoor while preparing fresh fruits and vegetables food salad

These are some of the type of girls that should never think of dating

Most of the times, we guys are very sensitive to the kinda light thrown from the opposite sex (the bad and niggaz from the hood will relate).
This varies from a girl asking us whether we have a girlfriend, calling us, taking us on dates e.t.c.
Not however, there are categories of women you should never consider their acts as green lights, else, you’d end up red-flagged by her.
1. The Nudists
Trust me Brooklyn, don’t ever take it to be that they are into you. You get to her room and you are surprised she is in panties and bra, obviously comfortable around you. Bad news, she doesn’t only does that to you, she does it to all her visitor’s except for the elderly ones. If you ain’t smart in d game, you’d fall for it and make a supposed ‘smart move’. This will def land you a dirty slap. Be warned!
2. The Tomboys
You mostly see these girls alone in bars, football viewing centres, or on the pitch of a football match. Also you’d see them swing their arms around guys while walking with dem, or probably hugging every guy in a group of a dozen guys. Don’t rush these kinda gals as they are mostly like guys, hence a number of them are lesbians (not always). If you ain’t smart, you’d fall for it and you’d definitely crash.
3. Bartenders And Hostesses
These group do theirs professionally. The ethics require them to be extremely nice to clients, hence, a JJC in the game who takes these ‘nice’ acts as green light is obviously O.Y.O.

These are step on how to suck a pussy number 4 will shock you

Make sure you get your woman totally aroused. Do this by touching, stroking and kissing her all over her body. Most woman like to have their neck kissed and their breast gently stroked. Many also like to have their nipples licked or sucked. This will also get her in the mood for anything.
When licking a woman’s vagina don’t just jump in for the kill. Start of from kissing her first on the mouth then slowly work your way down her body, kissing almost every part of her as you go down. Most women have a part of them they don’t like. For example, big hips, chubby belly and so on. If you make her feel like you appreciate every part of her she will be much more relaxed. When you have kissed all the way down to her vagina, slowly come back up.
Don’t just start licking away. If you kiss up and down a good few time usually she will want you even more!
When you think she is at that stage, kiss and lick all down her body, But this time go over her vagina.Slowly move your lips over her vagina in a kind of stroking way.
At this stage just be quite gentle and slow. When you have done this for a while, open her vagina lips with your finger and slowly lick around and over her clitoris, flicking it with your tongue. If you have done this for a little while slowly nibble her clitoris whilst pushing against her.
But not to hard.Then just to make sure she is definitely pleased with what your doing, insert your tongue into her vagina. Push it in as far as you can stretch it, then quickly pull it out do this a few time the move it in and out quickly but keeping your tongue firm. After this, lick around the edges and again over her clitoris.
If your getting it right she will probably orgasm, If not, repeat the steps until she does.

The reason why men do not know the difference between sex and love Number 2 will shock you

Many young women have been pushed into doing things they do not want to do simply because they gave in to pressure. Most men will not back down until consummation occurs.

Some of these young ladies have been made to believe they have to sleep with their partners in order to show them how much they love them. This is a big misconception as most of these ladies end up being shattered after they break up. It is quite possible for you to share beautiful moments with a man without getting down; there are many couples who waited till their wedding nights. This did not change the feelings they have for each other as they learned to treat each other with respect before consummating their love. Most men do not know how to tell love apart from lust; everything is in one direction for men like that. They believe everything they do with a woman has to boil down to bodies grinding and staying entwined for hours. There are a number of factors that could be responsible for that. This piece is going to reveal the reasons men confuse love with sex; this will help you a great deal as you will be able to do things the right way from this moment. Find below some of the reasons men do not know the difference between love and sex

It has been observed that one of the reasons men cannot tell the difference between love and sex is insecurity. They settle for sex and tell themselves they are in charge; they also coerce the women they come in contact with to do their will in order to prove they love them. This is because some of these men convert their need for intimacy, love, care, comfort and affection into sexual desires. Once they are able to get this from their partners, it is translated to love. Men who have low self-esteem tend to mix up these two things.

2.The need to be held
Some men opt in for sex when they are depressed and sad; they believe consummation will help them come out of that dark place. The physical comfort they also get from being held sends the wrong signal to them; many of them translate this to be love. Sex makes many men feel they already know the women enough; they skip the important steps they need to take in order to know the women.


Most times we meet people, we often get carried away by their charms. These charms send the wrong message to the brain and body. Most people find themselves in the bedroom before they could say jack; because things happen very fast sometimes, some men do not know what to make of the union.


4. Both end the same way for men
Another reason why some men cannot tell the difference between love and sex is as a result of their mentality. Many men treat both the same way; sex can be different from love if it was taken as an action that supports reproduction or when it is being done for distraction. Love is expected to writhe and moan with pleasure beneath them. Sex happens with the men getting emotional at one point or the other